How to Feel More Confident: You Are Not Broken
When we want to do things differently, sometimes we fail even though we the change so badly. When this happens, we ask ourselves questions that challenge our very work. Ultimately, we believe we are broken and in need of fixing. However, in breakthrough coaching, we challenge this paradigm. If you want to feel more confident, it starts with this belief: you are not broken.
Do any of these thoughts sound familiar?
- “Why do I always do that?”
- “I shouldn’t be so nervous about asking for what I need.”
- “Why can’t I just stand up for what I believe?”
- “I wish I wasn’t always so critical of myself.”
What these statements have in common is that they reflect a belief that something is wrong with us. Let’s talk about challenging this belief.
How to Feel More Confident: Solving Challenges Within
From our earliest experiences in life, we learn to adapt to the outside world. For example, in our families, we learn how to respond to the demands of our parents and siblings. In school, we learn to think critically to solve problems in math, reading, writing, and schoolyard squabbles. This pattern continues when we grow up and enter the work force. No matter what profession we choose, whether we become doctors, engineers, flight attendants or photographers, we all receive training on how to solve external problems with and for other people.
Strangely enough, we generally receive this teaching on how to respond to external problems while rarely learning how to respond to the challenges inside of us. This is ironic when we consider that the only mind or body we can control is the one we own. Despite this, we receive virtually no training on how to solve complex challenges within.
Throughout life, societal expectations and family experiences impact our lives in ways that we don’t realize until later. We show up in the world abiding by non-conscious habits that we developed to protect and benefit ourselves. When we start to notice that these patterns often hold us back from achieving satisfying, meaningful relationships or careers, we wonder what’s wrong with us. We have no idea where to start unraveling the mindsets we adopted to get through life. This leads to a vicious cycle of shame and suppression within our hearts and minds.
How to Feel More Confident: Choose a Different Paradigm
In breakthrough coaching, our work shifts the story from, “I’m broken,” to “I’m loving and powerful, and at some point I chose this dynamic for a good reason.” In other words, we acknowledge that all the patterns we’ve developed probably served us well at some point in life. Once we recognize that we chose these habits at some point, we are empowered to un-choose them. That is, we can think more clearly about whether the patterns are necessary anymore, and if not, we can thank them for their service and release them in a healthy way.
This part of the breakthrough coaching part is often when people say, “I never realized. . . ” that the things they dislike so much about themselves come from a place of love and power. It’s a potent realization. We spend thinking, “Why am I like this?” as though there is something broken. Nothing is broken at all; in fact, our minds and hearts are working quite well. The non-conscious is full of habits that powerfully served us well in the past, and from a place of love.
The main focus of breakthrough coaching is to shift your ingrained beliefs about yourself to a new powerful paradigm that gives you choice for the future. This is how you feel more confident. When you break through barriers, you’re empowered to dismiss stale beliefs about yourself. You are enabled to flourish in your personal life and career.
Complimentary Breakthrough Consultation
In-person or online breakthrough coaching can help you to follow your passion and grow as an authentic, confident, authoritative leader in doing what you really love. To learn more, contact me for a complimentary online Engaging Breakthrough consultation.
In this 30-60 minute online breakthrough coaching session, I’ll help you get clear on where you want to be. I’ll give you my best professional recommendations to help you take your first steps toward your success breakthrough.
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Written by Craig Tennant Founder, Engaging Breakthroughs Transformation Architect and Breakthrough Coach At Engaging Breakthroughs, Craig Tennant delivers |